The post-modern male

I am pleased to see that
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
is described as a post-modern movie.

I have never really understood the term “post-modern”. I see, for example, that the mighty, indisputable and irrefutable Wikipedia that the term was first used in 1939. Another definition says “subsequent to or coming later than that which is modern”. So that really means that nothing is post-modern but that everything will be.

You may wonder why this nonsense has been flowing through my mind. It is because The G this morning detailed me off to do the vacuuming (or in English, the hoovering). I am a post-modern male, I thought. That is why I can do the vacuuming. Furthermore, I thought, I am a reconstructed male but when I asked Dr Google about reconstructed males I decided that I probably wasn’t one and probably didn’t really want to be one.

As it happens I have my own vacuum cleaner called
Dicky the Dyson. There is one plumbed into the
house but I prefer my own. Now that is a
post-modern man for you!!

This all arises because The G has a clear pre-holiday departure preparation process. I have remarked in a previous blog post (the UK 2014 trip) that “I cannot say why a house needs to be cleaned before one goes on holiday”. I still cannot say this and I cannot say why every necessarily need to be tidy while one is away. I am told that “it is nicer when you get back”. Be that as it may the pre-holiday departure preparation process is in full swing.

To be fair I too have a pre-holiday departure preparation process. Part of this relates to the cars (no, not part of it - all of it). The TVR’s rego renewal conveniently falls due while we are away so this morning I took it to Brad (who does the cars) for its pink slip (like an MOT for our UK readers). This was all OK: as I said to him if there’s anything wrong with it then it’s down to you! But we did find that the rear fog-light was on. I need to investigate why this is so as I have no idea where the switch is!

The TVR is called Ted and he will need his battery disconnecting otherwise the alarm system will drain the battery. The Rover, known and Ronnie, will sit there quite happily as, at 51 years old, he pre-dates any of this new-fangled electronic nonsense. I think it will be wise to disconnect the battery of the Maserati as well. This completes my pre-holiday departure preparation process. Pretty simple really!

Some things matter and some things don’t. Cars matter. Vacuum cleaners don’t.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I am swept up in The G’s pre-holiday departure preparation process. This is because she regards her job (and I am conscious as I say this that I am, as you know, a post-modern male) as looking after me. This means that I am booked this afternoon to see Alex the Acupuncturist (who plays in a local band called The Somedays so we have plenty to talk about) and also Claire the Masseuse (who is really funny and always holds a towel in front of her eyes when I strip off which always makes me pass an inappropriate comment). After this much attention I shall be fit for almost anything.

And I said the other day “almost anything” is what I am told I need to be fit for.